I'll give the right wing this. They're clever in their malice. The left may have earnestness, and something short of sanctimony (take a moderate-left fiscal conservative, add sanctimony: result? Joe Lieberman), but they sure don't have a sense of humor.

Just yesterday I heard this one.

You know about Obama's new proposed tax on aspirin? It's white and it works.

I love this country. It runs on fear, hate, and cheap gas. Three pollutants.

I'd say, I can always run away to France, but I'm reading in reports from a think tank I subscribe to that xenophobia is on a rampage in Europe. France is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, of the countries in Europe (and since when did the name of a continent around long enough for Don Rumsfeld to call it "old" require a change to "Euro-zone," as if it were a program of the government, like EZPass, they decided they had to brand?). And France is about the size of Texas.

So all of Europe would fit into a corner of the southwest of the U.S., until we built a wall around it, or threw them out. So I guess they feel the hot breath of all those immigrants more intimately, and they quiver with rage and anxiety in their French blue overalls. Like Poles and Rumanians and Turkish Muslims all have master-level skills in the trades.

Of course, we Americans do spew our hatred for any minority that exceeds ten per cent of our population. And our significant minorities don't even dress funny. And that's despite the stereotypes about hip-hop and homosexuals.

It would be my guess that the analysts have changed their position on anti-Semitism from a "hold" to a "buy." I would.

It's a good bet that all Semites should be on amber alert. bin Laden and Madoff: the poster boys of the new millennium. Even gentle Elie Wiesel is cursing Bernie.

And if things do go south (so to speak) completely while Obama is president, it will result in a headache no aspirin will cure. And the reaction, I suspect, will make the Black Panthers look like a Boy Scout troop run by adults of a different sexual preference.

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